The One Thing
Why great craftsmanship isn't enough, and how truly hearing your customers makes all the difference.
Listening. It's one of the hardest things to do well, and the problem is as old as time. In 300 BC, Zeno of Citium said, “We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.” We haven’t learned much since then. According to a study published in the Harvard Business Review, eight hours after a conversation, we can only remember 25-50% of what we have heard. Listening is critical to effective communication, especially in our interactions with customers.
I remember hearing about a new kitchen that was built by a custom shop in our area. It was a beautiful kitchen, well made and expertly installed. However, the customer was disappointed. She had wanted a slide out step installed into the toe kick and didn’t end up getting it.
“They talked me out of it, and I really wanted it,” she said. I was struck by the fact that, when the dust had settled and everything was done, the thing she commented on about the project implied that she didn’t feel heard.
That sentiment has really stayed with me, and hit a little closer home recently. After the install of a new kitchen, we discovered the customer expected to receive rollout drawers behind the pantry cabinet doors, whereas we understood they wanted shelves. Somehow, there was a communication gap. They told us, “That was one of the main things we wanted. Our old house had it, and why would we go 'back' to something less functional?” We had somehow missed one of the things that mattered most to them. Once we figured this out, rollout drawers were installed in short order.
How did we miss something so important initially? How do we become better listeners? Why does it matter? And what are the benefits? In this article, we’ll be exploring how poor listening can often outstrip great craftsmanship, and how better listening can help us serve our customers better and result in referrals that start with “They really listen!”
“If you make listening and observation your occupation, you will gain much more than you can by talk.”
As we saw in the stories outlined above, the one thing that often determines success in a cabinet project is not design, materials, or even budget; it’s whether or not you understand what matters most to the homeowners. Quite frequently, when a cabinet project goes sideways, it’s not for reasons that seem obvious. If you take a minute to really dig into your challenging projects, you’ll often find that a nitpicky complaint about the finish or a feature has less to do with actual dissatisfaction and more to do with the fact that it wasn’t what the homeowners expected.
“But I was listening!” you might say. However, hearing words is not the same as listening. Stephen Covey said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” If you’re just listening to what’s being said to provide an answer, you may be falling short of actually listening. Listening involves identifying three things beyond just the words being said. Those three things are essentials, emotions, and expectations.
How to Listen
Firstly, listen to your customer’s essentials. This will require your active engagement. Seek to understand. What is the most important to them? What are they really saying? Is there something that they’re not saying? Maintain your focus on the speaker and don’t be afraid to ask them directly, “What is most important to you? What is absolutely essential?”
Secondly, listen to their emotions. What are their emotions telling you? Are they really excited about something they had before, like the pullout drawers in our story? Lean in to see if this is something that’s important to them. If they’re reacting negatively to something, it may indicate a need for more clarification and communication. Practice empathy rather than looking for immediate solutions. One example of this is when a kitchen design discussion involves corner solutions. Your customer’s bad experiences with poor quality lazy susans can often elicit strong feelings. Utilize their level of passion to determine whether to introduce them to high quality units, or to propose another corner solution, even if it's not as efficient with the space.
Finally, listen for their expectations. What are they expecting to receive? Are you fully understanding their project goals? Get curious. Ask questions to better understand your customer’s perspective. Use questions that invite detailed answers to identify underlying expectations. Try asking “What does a successful outcome on this project look like to you?” or “What do you want to feel when you walk into your kitchen?” One thing that I like to listen for are tell-tale phrases like “what I really want is…” or “I’ve always wished that I had…” Take notes of these things and make them a priority.
Remember that sometimes some interpretation may be necessary. As Theodore Levitt famously said, "People don't want to buy a quarter-inch drill. They want a quarter-inch hole." So very often, when people say they want a new kitchen, what they really want is a special space that works well for gathering with their family, or they may simply be seeking to impress their friends with how on-trend they are. Be sure to listen for indicators of what is motivating the project, and use that to frame the project goals.
The One Thing Method
Remembering all these steps can be hard in the heat of the moment, so we developed a simple five-step process that we call the “One Thing Method.”
The first step is “Ask”. We’ve all heard the saying, “You never know until you ask,” and it’s so true. If you want to know, generally you have to ask. Ask your customer, “What is the one thing you don’t want to lose?” This is the “One Thing” that you’re looking for. It could be something related to how the cabinets function, or a storage solution they need, or a particular design aesthetic they’re looking for, or a workflow pattern that is important to them.
The second step is “Clarify”. An oft-repeated phrase in the shop is “measure twice, cut once,” and the same principle applies here. Clarify not just once, but twice. As you’re discussing the “One Thing” with your customer, be sure to make clarifying statements, such as “Tell me more about that,” or ask clarifying questions, such as “Why does that matter to you?”
The third step is “Repeat”. Repeat your customer’s “One Thing” back to them. Preface it with a phrase like “So what I’m hearing is…” This step really helps them feel comfortable, because they know their requests are understood and accurately recorded.
The fourth step is “Document”. As much as we hate to admit it, none of our memories are as good as we think they are. Documentation takes the weight of remembering off of everyone involved. Record the “One Thing” on your drawings, on your proposals, or on your notes to ensure that everyone understands implicitly.
The fifth and final step is “Protect”. Since it’s the “One Thing,” it is vital to the project's success and must be protected. Protect it during the design phase by making it a big rock in the project. Protect it during budget decisions by making it a non-negotiable line item. Protect it during installation by thoroughly documenting and communicating with your installation crew.
One tool that we use to facilitate this process is our Kitchen Planning Guide, available here. Ideally, our customers have received this guide before the design meeting so they can come prepared for a productive discussion.
Some “One Thing” Killers
Just as there are key steps to making the One Thing Method work, there are also things that can kill the process almost instantly.
The first killer is forgetting that you are the guide, not the hero. As Donald Miller says in his book, Building a Story Brand, “When we position our customer as the hero and ourselves as the guide, we will be recognized as a trusted resource to help them overcome their challenges.” This may seem obvious, but it is easy to forget in the heat of the moment: our goal is to help guide our customers to a successful outcome. We owe it to them to provide guidance, expert advice, and to point out potential design challenges. Also, don’t be afraid to tell them “why this or that matters”. Sometimes we can tell that our customers are indifferent to something that may be important. The temptation here is to simply pass it over, since it appears the customer doesn't care. It may be that they simply don’t know it actually matters. All of that said, there may come a point when we need to follow their instructions, even if we don't agree. Remember: while the customer may not always be right, at the end of the day, they are still the customer, and they are paying the bill.
The second killer is using jargon or trade-speak in our conversations with customers. We carry the burden or “curse” of knowledge because we are so close to the products and options we offer. The use of jargon creates an invisible barrier that our customers can feel, fostering a veneer of distrust and leading to misunderstandings. For example, does your customer know the difference between full overlay, partial overlay, or inset doors? Be ready with clear and simple explanations that a 10-year-old can understand, or, better yet, include pictures that show key design differences. We have actual examples of cabinets in various styles in our design center so our customers can see and experience them in person. Seek to develop an emotional connection with your customers by communicating on the same level. If you must use a technical term or phrase, be sure to define it immediately.
The third killer is what I’m going to call “professional pretense”. Nobody enjoys a laborious “professional” meeting. Be hospitable! At our shop, our goal is to make the design meetings fun, informative, and productive. We provide a selection of snacks and drinks, such as iced coffee, at the meetings to make customers feel welcome and maintain an inviting atmosphere. After our meetings, we like to offer a “behind the scenes” shop tour, which we find is usually a huge hit, as most of us enjoy seeing how things are made. To avoid overwhelming or creating confusion, we use the One Thing Method to ensure our customers hear and are heard. As Donald Miller said, “Never forget: if you confuse, you lose.”
Conclusion
At the end of the day, most of our customers simply want something that is well built by someone they trust, who listens to what they actually need. Most of us can handle the well built and trust parts with relative ease; it's the listening that can be challenging. But listening well is what ties it all together. It shows respect to the people we work for, helps us avoid costly misunderstandings, and it's what turns a satisfied customer into someone who sends their neighbor our way.
